Trip to India: Wed. June 6, 2012 “Learning about my past

I think I now understand why my uncle’s wife despised him so much for spending so much money constructing this huge house for his family and boy is it a freaking huge house. The ceiling is very high and it is very big one but I think it is poorly designed. There’s a lot of space with 4 big rooms but only 2 bathrooms. There’s a lot of maintenance that needs to be done and a lot of work if it were to look its best but to be quite frank, I’m not planning to use any of my money to maintain this house or anything that is related to this house. My uncle doesn’t have any money whatsoever to do any more maintenance and so if later on he wants to fix the house, he probably needs to ask contribution from all of the children. As far as I am concern, the only duty that I have is with my mom and I have been sending her one hundred dollars every month. Later on when I have more money saved up, I would like to send her two hundred dollars which would be a really good amount to live on.

house is pretty big...the depth runs probably close to 30 yards from front to the backyard. but it is a curse, no life whatsoever!

I told my mom that there is no life in this house whatsoever. It’s huge but lifeless which is in perfect contrast to big houses in India. In India, you have two to three generations living under the same roof but here, it’s only my mom and her mom (my grandmother). She works as a maid taking care of her mother and taking care of the house. I think my uncle regularly sends $200 dollars out of his poverty to his mother. This house is really depressing to be in because it is so big and no one to live in it. They build this huge fence and enclosure to guard against theft...but is it really necessary? My mom even admits that there is nothing valuable in it to steal. I told my mom that once her mother passes away and that when she has finished her duty, I want her to be able to travel around Vietnam and enjoy her old age. I will support her financially because right now she is so obligated to taking care of her mother that she hardly takes care of herself. She’s interested in going to the temple too so I would like to be able to help her as much as I can. I do feel really good about my current financial situation that once I have reached my comfort levels of savings, I clearly want to support my mom so that she doesn’t have to be so unhappy about her health. Since I have been sending money back to my mom, I think she’s doing okay other than her health. I think she has enough to eat which is number one on my priority, the second is health, and then the third is I want her to enjoy the rest of her life doing whatever she enjoys doing.

About this house, I’m really not concerned about it..and I only wish that my mom is freed from its burden because it’s really nothing but a burden for her. She works tirelessly to maintain its upkeep and she has to take care of her mom 24/7. When it rains, the house leaks in ten different places and so she has to place buckets to catch the water. Her mom needs to pee every hour or so even at night, and so I doubt that she ever gets enough sleep. The money that my uncle sends home is never enough for them to find a maid or care-giver. You know this house has all the semblance of a well-off family but it is far from it...and so I am only interested not in its upkeep but only for the well-being of my mom. I can’t believe I am feeling this emotional but I am, I thought I was never going to be moved by my mother’s sacrifice but I am, and now that I am making some money as a school-teacher, the only thing that needs to be done now is to ensure the welfare and happiness of my mom, and that I think can and will be done. I am not financially bind by family or children, I only have myself to support, and ever since I paid off my credit card debts four years ago, I have become very frugal with my money. You can say that I know the value of money really well and I only spend wisely, so to ensure the financial well-being of my mom is not a hard burden for me at all. I still need to figure some things out of course when I come back to the States.

I went with my mom to the morning market today and we had some really good breakfast--noodles soup that has a broth made of some really pungent fish sauce, not sure whether my Americans can stand the smell and taste, but it is extremely delicious to my palate. I think every morning mom goes out to the local market and she buys fresh fish and seafood there. Everything is so good and everything is so fresh. I was wearing my Indian attire and everyone was curious where I was from. Right now I’m just spending some quality time with mom while she cooks and cleans the house. I’m not planning to do much, no need for travels...just stay in one place talking with mom, enjoying her company, blogging, and perhaps study some Sanskrit. Too bad the internet is not working until my cousin comes in two days. Right now mom is preparing lunch..the so-called sweet and sour catfish soup and clay-pot catfish which is one of my favorite dish. But instead of using catfish, I think she’s using a really good quality kind of fish as a substitute. I’m beginning to like all Vietnamese cuisine...every dish is my favorite.