I came to Bac Lieu which is probably around 280km south of Saigon on Monday late in the afternoon about 4:30 pm. My mom greeted me and she told me later that she was afraid that she had lost a son ever since she gave me away to my uncle 23 years ago. But when she saw me putting my arms around her and now that we have been with each other for the past four days, she is not worried anymore about whether I care for her or not because she knows that I do...and it’s true. In the last several days, my mom has filled in a lot of the memories of my childhood before I immigrated to America with my uncle.
I don’t remember any of these memories but most of it is too sorrowful that it grieves me to hear it. I feel like my mom has suffered for 56 years with poverty and now with the burden of taking care of her mother. But now she is also relieved that I have finally found a good path as a school-teacher. I promised her that her days of poverty will be over now that I am finally all grown up and not depending on anyone. I promised her that I will take care of her from now on and only her. I’m just crossing my fingers that nothing will ever happen to me and that fate will allow me to be a dutiful son and let me take care of my mom in her old age. That is the plan even if I have to find another job when I come back to America in order to send her $200/month, I will be more than happy to do that.
Reconnecting with mom surprisingly is not a problem for both of us. I think we both understand each other very well and she has really spoiled me these last several days by calling me her “sweetheart” and other endearing terms that made me want to blush and cry. But I feel so grateful to finally have a mom who loves me--I think that’s what been missing all these 23 years.
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| We were supposed to go out for breakfast, but was caught out in the rain, so mom bought bread and steamed-pork. She fried an egg and made ice coffee. Simple but delicious. |
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| I love this vegetable--it's kinda slimy but tasty. |
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| this was for breakfast on thursday, i think. hahaha....it's hard to keep track...everyday breakfast and lunch is so good, dinner is whatever that is leftover from lunch. |
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| lunch on thursday. |
Other than hanging out with mom, going to the market in the morning to buy produce, and then having her prepare lunch, and having lunch, I haven’t done anything else. Thank god that we have pretty fast DSL here in this house, otherwise I think I would have gone crazy. The first day when I couldn’t get the DSL to work, I was thinking of going to an internet-cafe shop and do some surfing there, but mom doesn’t want me to go out because she is worried about the relatives who might want to solicit me. Anyways, now that internet works here, I really don’t mind whatsoever about staying inside and not going anywhere else. A lot of people asked my mom how come I don't come outside, and she told them that I was busy studying Sanskrit (which is true). I’ve been studying Sanskrit and reading the news and calling some folks back in the US. Too bad Vietnam doesn’t allow Facebook...(damn!) so I have to resort to the slow 3G speed on my iphone.
My studies of Sanskrit has been slow because I have to talk with Vinay over her really bad cellphone so the clarity is not so great. We had two classes and my level of satisfaction right now is about 50%. However when I’m with her one-on-one, I know for a fact that I’m getting a world-class Sanskrit education from one of the best minds. I just need to think of some kind of solution later on when I go back to the US because it seems right now that I will completely end my friendship with Neel. There is nothing for me there that is worthwhile anymore than frustration, and frustration is never a good thing when I am on a vacation. So the best thing to do is to completely end the friendship and depend on Vinay to help me find another Sanskrit if she can teach me when I’m back in the US. It also looks like I will be moving back to my Pune flat with my roommates. We’ll just have to see. What’s comforting is that I know I have money with me in a dirt poor country, so I don’t have to worry about being on the damn streets. To hell with NEEL, that bastard!
The plan is when I come back to India from Vietnam, I will be focused only on Sanskrit and I would like to meet up with Vinaya once in the morning and once in the evening to really study Sanskrit with her. That’s the plan that I have right now and I will have very limited time to do that because I am flying back to the US on Aug. 20th. That gives me about 2 months to really do all the studying that I want to do. I’m also planning to fly to Chennai for several days to visit a friend and also I would like to see Gita’s place. That probably would be like four days and that’s the only trip that I have planned so far. That’s really all the traveling that I think I’m going to do this time in India. Really, the focus is on Sanskrit and nothing else.
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