First blog after many days...

I have had two Sanskrit classes with Vinaya so far since I came to Vietnam. I called her when I was at the airport in Tokyo and it was good to check in with each other. I’m very excited to finally get to see my teacher after nine months even though we see each other almost every day on Skype. I’m not entirely sure whether we’ll focus on a text but whatever it may be I know without a doubt that I will receive a first rate Sanskrit education from her. She’s been truly an incredible teacher and I feel extremely lucky to have her. Going to India to study Sanskrit, like any endeavors undertaken in India, is really sometimes a mixed bag. The first person who taught me Sanskrit in India completely ripped me off and taught me close to nothing. The second person was decent but nothing compared to Vinaya. She’s been reliable and trustworthy, and for the past nine months alone, I’ve called her way before dawn so that she can teach me Sanskrit. India is ahead of San Francisco by 12.5 hours and for at least half that period of time I’ve called her at 5am so that we can have classes. With daylight savings, I woke her up at 6am. I mean can you imagine anyone having that kind of time, patience, and devotion to their student that they are willing to lose sleep in order to teach? Vinaya is very dear to me and somewhat like my second mother for without her I am literally nothing. The progress that I have made this year alone is due to her committment to me. 

Now that we will meet in less than a week, I would like to learn how to speak Sanskrit and many other things from her about this sacred language. Even though I have said earlier that I will not ruin my vacation this summer by focusing on my studies alone, I will probably devote at least a couple of hours a day to studying. Last year, I think I spent close to four to six hours to ward my mind from dwelling on some bad experiences that I had. We still have to figure out who will be teaching me Pali since the other teacher is backing out from her earlier promises. But even that endeavor requires a little more study time on my part but I’m willing to go easy on it since my main focus is to have fun this summer and plenty of it. 

Heck by the time I come back to America, I will be transitioning out of Zen Center and probably be looking for a second job to keep up with the cost of living in SF since my wages have been flat for the past five years. But really I welcome the challenge. If I had to compare myself and how much I have to toil to earn a living in America, it pales in comparison to the amount of sheer hard labor that people in poor countries have to go through. Many people in this world, unfortunately, work harder than I do and what they earn is a pittance to what I make even though my pay is hardly considered a living wage in SF. But the irony of it all is that while I hardly make any money, for some crazy reason  or another I just feel that it’s right to go traveling in the summer and especially to go to India to devote myself to Sanskrit. I am fond of the timeless wisdom that I so naively imagined many years ago that I would find in modern day India. Maybe I am chasing after a dream which will someday haunt me for the rest of my life as I whittle away my “productive years.” Or maybe I'm just fooling myself and that there is truly nothing special at the end of this long journey. What I have learned from my travels is that there is nothing more rewarding in this lifetime than knowing myself and one of the best ways to do that is to observe this human life and the myriad people who share this very same existence. Unfortunately, people living in poor countries as much as they would like to travel cannot afford to and understandably enough there are more dire things for them to think about. But on the other hand, people who live in wealthy countries are somewhat reluctant to because they have mortgages to pay and families or other social responsibilities that take up most of their time. Nor do I feel that I have the wisdom of Socrates who never traveled outside of Athens but knew very well about the human condition. 

In terms of accomodations, Vinaya has finalized for me an apartment that I will be staying in which is close to where she lives and close to an Olympic size swimming pool that I am dying to swim in. Ever since I have been a health freak the last three years, I’ve noticed how much physical exercise changes my mood completely. I started biking to work in order to save money, and then learning how to swim the last couple of years, and then just recently took up running two months before my trip. Abbot Paul Haller many years ago suggested that I should take up on some kind of exercise and at first I didn’t think much about it but ever since I started biking, the love for physical activity never stopped. I was afraid that in India I would not have been able to do any of those things because Indian streets are notorious for it’s lack of sidewalk, and well the streets are pretty deadly enough to walk on much less to run on. Furthermore, running in 90 plus degree temperature is not what I call fun. 

I have left for Saigon Saturday morning and even though it has been a short visit with mom, I think I will come back next year. Despite the fact that I’m always indoors and never get to explore the town very much, I really enjoy some of the aspects of this small town where I was born. The people are very friendly and there is a sort of laid-back contentment too among the townspeople and the food is always a good enough reason to come back to my hometown. 

Ruminations on what life would have been

On the trip down from Saigon to Bac Lieu I often wonder what life would have been like for me had I stayed in Vietnam. What kind of life would I have had in Vietnam? What would my job be? At first the idea brought only dread and fear that I would have been unhappy had I grown up in Vietnam since that would mean giving up a lot of the pleasures and comforts that I have gotten so used to. Does my happiness then depend on the materialistic things that I have accumulated? I doubt that it does and truly it is a scary notion to think that materialism singularly holds the key to happiness. My possessions only serve to make my life more convenient and easier but it is impossible to demand happiness from objects. If materialism is the cause of people’s happiness then surely people without those things cannot attain it and people who lived in the past could not have gotten it which sounds truly absurd. 

Maybe I was also afraid because I do not know Vietnam which is still roughly a foreign country to me. I know very little about the history, the people, and the culture. But apparently people from many other countries admire the will and courage of the Vietnamese people who fought during the war and triumph. There is much to be said about that and some people have attributed the qualities of devotion to family and country as a winning property. But who knows? I remember a man from India telling me how much he admire Vietnam for they were able to fight for their freedom, but I also told him how India had the wise Gandhi who somehow united hundreds of millions of Hindus under one banner to fight for their freedom without engaging in an actual war, maybe that was a nobler battle. 

And perhaps it’s not fair to ask myself to somehow adjust and adapt to a new place especially when I have lived most of my life somewhere else. That’s why I think change and adaptation must have been extremely difficult for my uncle and his wife even immigrating to a rich country like the US. Even now my happiness rests solely on the shoulders of my high school teacher who gave me a lot of direction in life. Without him I would have been lost and living in America or Vietnam would not have made much of a difference. From the figure of Socrates, I found some consolation and clear perspective as to how I want to live this life and thus reassured myself that happiness cannot be determined solely by the country in which a person lives but rests entirely on what the ancient Greeks have said many ages ago to “Know thyself.” Call me a fool but I am always mesmerized by the wisdom of Socrates who believes that wealth does not bring happiness but only goodness brings wealth and every other blessings. 

Having been in both cultures, I find it rather amusing but understandable at the same time that many Vietnamese people like the idea of marrying their children off to Vietnamese-Americans thinking that happiness can somehow be bought if they go off to America--as if America has the magic recipe to create happiness. But having grown up poor in America, I am weary of such logic. It is hard for Vietnamese people to realize how hard it is to live in America. Sure poor Americans don’t starve like the poor people in Vietnam, but it still should not justify the fact that Americans are somehow “better off or happier” than other people in third world countries. Given the state of our current economy, I really don’t think that we are. And as far as my happiness is concern, I am glad that I am in the position that I am in. Since I do not have a family nor children to look after, I'm not too concerned about money as long as I get to travel over the summer. While there is limited pleasures of being a substitute teacher, one of the perks is that I have a lot freedom to pursue my passion for Sanskrit and someday become a translator and to share my knowledge with other people. I owe all of this to my high school teacher and many other people who have helped me find my path ever since he aroused in me the love for philosophy and charmed me completely with the figure of Socrates. Furthermore, all of these materialistic worries are quickly dissolved when I hear the verse of the Gita in the back of my mind which whispers softly to me that “There is no wisdom in a person whose mind is untamed and a person whose mental state is all over the place, meditation is not possible. And without meditation there can be no peace, and without peace how then can there be happiness?” 

"Bored but with a plan."

After spending several days in Saigon, it was time to visit mom in Bac Lieu which is around 270 km and takes about 7 hours on the bus. The weather has been terribly hot about 92 degrees and probably 100% humidity. I cannot take enough showers to get rid of the general stickiness feeling. Even with a fan blowing and windows open, I had a hard time adjusting to the weather. At least in Saigon, we were in a AC hotel and other than venturing out to eat, I mainly stayed indoors. Hence, I’ve decided to stay in Bac Lieu for only three days before I head back to Saigon. Initially I was planning to stay until I had to return for my flight to Bangkok but as much as I like seeing mom, it can get pretty boring down here and with bad humidity it can sap a lot of my enthusiasm. At least in Saigon, there are places to eat and with a 25 meter swimming pool I can always divert my attention to swimming.

"Bun Bo Hue" (Vermicelli Beef Noodle Soup from the region of Hue) I can't promise that I'll be able to translate every single dish accurately as I have done here. In general, the Vietnamese food is spectacular. Almost all dishes are served hot. 

I think it is BBQ pork w/ rice. We eat too much pork here in this country. 

Okay this dish really gross me out. Super small chicken cooked in medicinal broth. Told my aunt that the dark color was unappetizing which she can sympathize with but she said the broth is very good for the health. 

Fish Market close to where we live:: I think Americans would really appreciate knowing that all of the seafood here was caught in the morning. 

Another dish: Bun Nuc Leo (No idea how to translate this dish) It's something like "Vermicelli in water..." I don't know what the exact equivalent of "Leo" but it's something like fermented anchovies. 

Any dish that is broth base will have a cauldron of broth in it. 

The finished product :: Bun Nuoc Leo with plenty of seafood. I got pretty tired with the pork and I told mom to only order seafood.

Despite the boredom, I have been able to get in touch with Mako thru Facebook (which is banned in Vietnam) but somehow works on 3G with my Ipad. It is very likely that we will get to hang out in Bangkok. Mako is currently in Phnom Penh in Cambodia and will be flying to Delhi on her way to Dharamsala at the beginning of June all the way until the end of the month. Because of Mako, I think I will fly to Delhi and go to Dharamsala maybe in mid-June and stay with her until the end of the month. Dharamsala is close to the Himalayas and many other beautiful places in India which I have never been even though this is my third trip to the country. It makes sense to do all this and I have called Vinaya on Skype this morning to tell her that. I’m also trying to get her to come with me but probably due to work, she might not be able to. Also she’s not too keen on going to new places alone.

Mon. May 20 "plans..what plans!?"

What to do!!? First day of my vacation and even though I am pretty jetlagged and slept probably only for a few hours, I’m feeling very excited and antsy at the same time. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any pressing agendas or travel plans that's why I’m not feeling so tired. Just talked briefly with Mako on facebook about our travels and I hope that she is able to somehow meet up with me in Bangkok on the 28th thru the 31st of May before I fly to India. For those of you who don’t know Mako, she means a lot to me and one of a few people who helped me a lot in my life when I was 18 or 19 years old. We go a long way back, she was my philosophy teacher when I went to City College and she introduced me to Zen Center before going down to Tassajara to practice for ten years! I admire and look up to her a lot. 

Since Mako is doing some kind of retreat in Dharamsala until the end of June I am still debating, and at the moment I am inclining towards the possibility of flying to Delhi and going there myself. It’s pretty clear to me at least that if I were to stay in Pune the rest of my summer just to study Sanskrit intensively I would probably ruin my entire vacation. There's no need for that anymore. It’s not that I am not eager to learn Sanskrit but now that I have been studying it very intensively the past nine months with Vinaya on Skype I also need a break. I don’t feel that it is always necessary to confine myself to one city in India for three months. Being in one city for an extended period of time can be torturous and extremely boring in India. That’s the great thing about the internet. Back in the days, scholars felt that they had to travel to India for three months in the summers to study with pandits but now with skype and the possibility of learning online which I had done the last nine months with my teacher I don't feel compel any longer to torture myself like I did last summer. This summer is going to be nothing but fun on my agenda--no arduous work other than eating a ton of good food, swimming it all off, doing plenty of yoga, and a little bit of studying and meeting other Sanskrit teachers who can help me as well when I get back to the States. Vinaya is going to introduce me to a Pali teacher and my intention is to study with her intensively when I get back from my vacation and not during my vacation. It's a good thing that I am not planning to rack my brain this summer with a crazy studying schedule. 


On the other hand, maybe I can convince Vinaya to fly with me. In that case I can have sanskrit classes with her while traveling around the Himalayas or again I can even Skype with her--I just need to find a reliable fast internet cafe and we can have lessons that way. 

I've never flown business or first class nor probably ever will in this lifetime anyways but having an entire row all to myself which is right next to the exit is probably as close as I'll ever get. Love it when a plane is a third of capacity. 

The plane trip was not so bad. At first I thought Delta was gonna be like American Airlines where they cram passengers together giving little leg room. Boy was I completely wrong. There was a lot of room actually even in economy class. 2 seats on the sides of the plane and 3 in the middle which is not bad at all! The food was okay but the flight attendants were really friendly and the people that I was with were so quiet. No crying babies, no rowdy passengers...It was a very peaceful flight. Vietnam Airlines was pretty bad but heck I'll take 78 passengers with rows of empty seats any day. 

My cousin Duy Nguyen. We're about the same age and really his mom and him are the only relatives  that I have in Vietnam other than my mom.