The Big Day Part I (Saturday, July 9)

Again, we were also sleep deprived on the day of the wedding because the women of the house like to barged into the living room at 5 in the morning to wake Abhinash up for some kind of errands. I guess the women were way too excited for sleep unlike the guys. All of us were so sleepy and it took many attempts to wake up Abhinash, one of Vaibhav’s cousin but also a very important person because he was pretty much in charge of a lot of the event functions.

He was expected to wake up at 5:15 in the morning to pick up some more guests at the train station..and he was the only one who left on the day of the wedding. But once my sleep was disrupted, it was hard for me to go back. So I just lay in bed listening to music waiting for all the other guys to wake up as well. On the day of the wedding was more of an emotional day than the previous days. A lot of the women were weeping...the bride’s mom and her aunts...since this would be the day where they would see her off to her groom’s family. There was also a ceremony where they touched her lips with some white sugar cookie (not sure what it was...wasn’t round like a cookie, but I think it was sweet). I also got the chance to do it as well which was neat b/c it felt like I was part of the family and got all the privileges afforded to family members.

Really the day of the wedding was a pretty emotional roller-coaster. A lot of the women were crying and weeping and the atmosphere felt like it was more of a funeral than a wedding. But you have to understand that once a girl is married, she'll be living with her family's husband and not her own family anymore and so this was the last day where she is still the daughter of the family. 

women taking turns to touch the bride's lips with a white sugary coated something

The bride's face and parts of her body is dappled with it.

The yellow-orange stuff is butter i think mixed with something else.

Vaibhav's mom cried.

She composed herself to apply it on the bride.

the bride's sister in law (the one who has a law degree, but is a housewife).

Abhinash's mom and the grandmother...this time it's some kind of perfume water.

The father and mother of the bride also cried. 

 After that ceremony, we had a few more hours to kill while the bride’s family get ready for the members of the groom to come. There were garlands which were to be put around the neck of the groom family members when they come to the mansion. We were also expecting the groom as well which was quite unexpected for me...because I don’t think during the 4-5 days before the marriage, the groom didn’t take part in any of the ceremonies of the bride...as I found out later, he also had ceremonies of his own which his family members prepared for him.
 

time to put on the toe-rings.

and the anklet bangles.

Well anyways, like everything Indian, the groom’s members came like an hour late. We were all waiting for him at the gate of the house...but everyone drifted away after half an hour. After an hour or so, we started seeing signs that they had finally come and the elders were the ones who put garland around the neck of the family members and the groom. I felt pretty fortunate that I got to put a garland around his neck since he was kinda heading in my direction. For some reason, he seemed to know who I was and that I was from America. God, I got to tell you guys, being an American here in India is such a big deal. Everyone seems to give you so much special treatment.

After with all the ceremony, the groom and 6 or 7 of his friends went to the living room in the other building with some of the young men from the bride’s side. After 10 minutes or so, Vaibhav came out from the meeting and told me that he needed my help because there was an awkward silence between the groom’s side and that of the bride. They weren’t talking and that he needed my help because everyone seems to be so curious about America and he needed my help to break up the silence. I was very reluctant and after 10 minutes or so...standing around and doing nothing, finally Vaibhav said we should go to the living room. I walked into the room and yea...Vaibhav was right...everyone was deadly quiet...the groom was nowhere to be found and a bunch of his friends were really cold as ice. One of them was about 6’5 and pretty damn big...and his attitude was just as unfriendly as his size. Man, I tried quite a bit to break up the ice and told Vaibhav afterwards that that was too brutal for putting me in the spot like that. Vaibhav reassured me that whatever I did really worked because I got them talking. I like to inform ppl that right now America is not as great as ppl think it is. Our economy is in shambles...this recession feels like more of a depression with probably about 20% Americans unemployed or under-employed, and the plight of education and college students. I told them that even though the dollar is probably worth more than the rupees, we live quite poorly in America. Our tax and other deductions eat up a third of our paycheck and rent eats up the other third...with college debts and other bills to pay...it is unimaginable for any Americans to get married at the age of 27 when most ppl here get married. The bride’s age is 24 and the groom is 27. Vaibhav told me that she studied art and that after her education, if the bride’s not working or going to school, then the next thing for her to do is to get married, which is very true. I told them that all of this is really impossible in America. And I told them to the best of my understanding...Americans get married when they are in their 30s when they are somewhat settled.

We talked for about half an hour and  I think I might have offended them when I assumed that they were all software engineers...turned out that all of them were in business. Afterwards they all had lunch separately in the other building while Abhinash and the men from the bride’s side served them lunch. Vaibhav and I had lunch about half an hour later. When I got back to Pune, I asked Vaibhav if the groom’s friends were really that cold and he told me that it is usually like that...some kind of game that they play which is all part of the tradition. So as far as he knows...they could be very nice and friendly ppl but on the day of the wedding there’s a lot of reservations. Who knows!